Twenty Questions
For the conversation you keep meaning to have
All twenty are on this page. Nothing to sign up for and nothing held back — read them here, and take the printable version at the bottom if you want it.
How to use this
Seven lines that matter as much as the questions. Almost nobody fails at picking a topic; they fail at the conversation.
Ask one question. Then stop talking.
Silence isn't a problem. It's where the story is.
Don't correct dates or names. Let them tell it their way.
"Then what happened?" is the only follow-up you need.
If they say there's nothing to tell, ask about someone else in the family. They'll come back around.
Twenty minutes is a real conversation. You don't need two hours.
Record it. You'll remember what they said. You won't remember how they said it.
The twenty questions
In this order, on purpose. The first two sets are concrete and safe, and they buy the trust the later ones spend.
小時候的家
The house you grew up in
你小時候睡在哪裡？房間裡還有誰？
Where did you sleep when you were little? Who else was in the room?
早上起來，家裡是什麼味道？
What did your home smell like in the morning?
你們家誰最早起床？他起來以後都在做什麼？
Who woke up first in your family, and what did they do?
大人不在的時候，你們幾個小孩都在玩什麼？
What did you and the other kids do when the grown-ups weren't watching?
養你長大的人
The people who raised you
說說你媽媽吧。她年輕的時候是什麼樣的人？
Tell me about your mother. What was she like when she was young?
你爸爸每天都在忙什麼？
What was your father busy with all day?
你們家有沒有誰是大家都有點怕的？
Was there someone in the family everyone was a little afraid of?
有沒有誰教過你什麼，你到現在還在做？
Did someone teach you something you still do today?
走過來的路
How you got here
離開的那一天，你還記得什麼？
What do you remember about the day you left?
你帶了什麼過來？有什麼是不得不留下的？
What did you bring with you? What did you have to leave behind?
剛來的第一個月，什麼事情讓你最意外？
What surprised you most in your first month here?
剛來的時候，第一個對你好的人是誰？
Who was the first person here who was kind to you?
那些平常的日子
Love, work, and the ordinary days
你跟媽媽（爸爸）是怎麼認識的？誰先注意到誰？
How did you and Mom (Dad) meet? Who noticed who first?
你的第一份工作是什麼？那時候一個月拿多少錢？
What was your first job, and what did it pay?
有沒有什麼事情你其實很拿手，但是沒什麼人知道？
What were you good at that nobody knew about?
有沒有哪一年特別難熬？
Was there a year that was harder than the others?
你想讓我們記得的
What you want us to keep
Don't open here. These land after thirty minutes of the earlier ones, not before.
你最拿手的那道菜，能不能教我怎麼做？從頭到尾說一遍。
The dish you make best — will you teach me? Take me through the whole thing.
有沒有什麼事，你一直沒跟我說，只是因為我從來沒問？
Is there anything you've never told me, only because I never asked?
你希望孫子孫女以後知道你是個什麼樣的人？
What do you want your grandchildren to know about you?
如果現在能跟你媽媽說一句話，你會說什麼？
If you could say one thing to your own mother now, what would it be?
Mid-Autumn — three more, for 25 September
小時候，你們家的中秋節是怎麼過的？
How did your family celebrate Mid-Autumn when you were little?
那時候的月餅是什麼口味的？跟現在一樣嗎？
What kind of mooncakes did you have back then? The same as now?
有沒有哪一年的中秋，你是一個人過的？
Was there a Mid-Autumn you spent on your own?
The last one is the one that matters. For a parent who came here alone there is always such a year, and no one has ever asked about it.
Teaching a weekend class? The same three questions come as a one-page assignment for students, with a note to the teacher on the back. No account needed, and a pencil is the whole of it.
You'll remember what they said. You won't remember how they said it.
Record the answers with GramGramsFree to start. Their language and yours, side by side.